Mindful Monday: I'm Not Happy

Monday, June 20, 2016

June 20, 2016

Hello Hello Hello!

Happy Monday! I actually woke up at a decent hour this morning, kind of hard to believe right? Any way I am up and slowly caffeinating! I am starting to get back into that rut! I know, I just posted about how I was getting better and was reading again, but it's like my mind doesn't want to do anything! Plus, my best-friend just moved to Texas to live with her new husband and I already miss her! I never see anyone anymore, I am pretty sure I am becoming the town shut in. There is so much I want to do in my life, but to be honest I really have no motivation to do it. I really want to move out of my current town, but I have no money...I would really like to move to Canada. My mom is from Canada and most of my family live there and I think it would be great. I spent a lot of time there as a child and now I just really want to go back.

I would love to move to a small town and work in a small bookstore or a cafe and just write my book, but like I money. It's kind of sad that most people can't do what they like because they have no money. I grew up in a small town and my community was always so nice and happy and then I moved to a city in a new state and to be honest, I'm not happy.

I used to resent my mom for moving me away from my lovely little town. Now I see that there was no other choice...but I miss it. I don't think I will go back to that town, but at least something like it. Somewhere where you can walk around at night and not worry about being mugged or a place in which you can ask your neighbor for milk or eggs and they will give it to you. Believe it or not that is how I grew up. I was always running around my town doing fun things with my friends and now I just stay at home and do nothing. It's really difficult...

Wow, look at me, complaining about my problems to maybe fifteen people...then again I've always been a complainer. Okay, this caffeine isn't working. I am drinking espresso and I still feel exhausted, what's up with that. I have had this blog for about 2 years now and it is really the only thing that is keeping me sane. Anytime I feel down, I go on here and I write up a post.

My mom asked me why I do when nobody reads it. Well, I do it so in a  year I can go back and read what I wrote and hopefully I am in a better mindset, you know? I am hoping that the next six months of 2016 are good to me. I know that I have to do something to make myself feel better, but what can I do? Get a job? Go to school? I don't want to do anything conventional...I want my life to be different and unique. 
Maybe that is why I am so unhappy. I want what I can't have...well I am of to watch Netflix. I am currently watching some show called Good Witch....not sure how I feel about it yet.

Stay Mindful

- Haley

BTW I made a bookstagram! You can follow me on instagram @mythoughtsareablog 

1 comment:

  1. I loved this post! You should get a up for a trip and travel.. go back packing..explore or find a small town or a unique book shop and just read or get a job there!


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