Thursday, September 1, 2016

Movie Mutters: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone


September 1st, 2016

Hello!

This is something I am starting on my blog! When I watch a film I tend to think of really random things and I have taken to Live Tweeting over on my twitter, but for those who don't have a twitter, I thought I would recount what I spent two hours muttering under my breath and publishing on the interwebs. These were my thoughts during HP number 1!

I'm about to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone for the millionth time, stay tuned.

So is this the Put Outer or the Deluminator?

Minerva give Hagrid a bit more credit. Man Sirius' motorcycle is LIT!

"Only family he has" if  only y'all would have given Sirius a god forsaken trial...smh

Special effects in movie 1...solid.

Dudley you spoiled little git...

Harry's shirt looks like a Kanye design. That oversized look tho

I really hate zoos...

Wait, so did nobody notice a kid speaking some creepy af language to a snake? Parseltongue doesn't sound normal...bloody muggles.

"There's no such thing as magic." Mmhmm aight Vernon

If i were Harry I would have thrown that letter in my cupboard and read it alone.

Hogwarts you are wasting so much paper...I guess wizards don't care about the environment smh...

Just pick up a letter from the floor Harry and why would you try to go into your room...go out the ruddy door!

Their shack looks like a mini Azkaban...

Yeah that's right, accept food from a stranger...didn't your parents ever teach you! Oh, wait....



Yer a wizard Harry!

Petunia how dare you disrespect Lily and James!

This little piggy went to the market, and this little piggy gets hexed by a pink umbrella.

How did Tom (the barman, not Riddle) go from absolutely normal to a hunchback creep in Prisoner...?

And little did he know underneath the turban lay his greatest enemy...Squirrely Quirrell...i hate you

Don't toucheth me!

"Gringotts, no safer place!" Says the people who have a bloody dragon below deck!

Oh how Griphook changed over the years...

Holy shit, I AM A WIZARD.



"The wand chooses the Wizard Mr. Potter."

Honestly Ollivander always weirded me out as a child...

Hedwig's alive! SHE'S ALIVE!

V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T not that difficult to spell Hagrid.

Sure Hagrid leave an eleven year old alone in a massive train station with an owl...

Ugh my boys! I can't tell you how much I love Fred and George!

Baby Ginny!

My god, Ronald you can't just ask people about their scars!

The Trolley Witch...we all now know her secret...

Pettigrew you bloody pig...lay of the sweets

Romione Feels, they were so adorable! 

God, Seamus was sooo cute 

In comes Draco Malfoy my favourite HP character of all time, the little git 

"TREVOR!" My Longbottom heart! 

Imagine if Harry had shook Malfoy's hand...imagine the possibilities!

I wish the Sorting Hat sung its song in the movie!

Yas! Although I'm a Slytherin myself. #WeGotPotter



"ME DAD'S A MUGGLE, MAMS A WITCH!" GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME!

Wait where did George go? Why is there only one twin at the table now?

Wait nevermind, George has been spotted.

WHERE IS PEEVES?!?

Ah, Weatherby how we love thee. 

I want my bedroom designed like a Hogwarts common room.

Late on the first day, boys...what would your parents think...oh wait...



SNAP SNAP HERE COMES SNAPE. 



Fred's face...or its it George...I can't tell them apart much when they're younger. He looks so confused over his work

Madam Hooch is my spirit animal.

Hermione is like Dafuq mate when Harry's broomstick responds to him so quickly

Hit the deck! Poor Neville! 



McGonagall: Punishment? NAH. WE NEED TO BEAT SLYTHERIN THIS YEAR. SEVERUS WILL NOT TAKE THIS FROM ME

The real question is...why does Quirrell have a giant lizard in his arms...? 

James was a Chaser not Seeker, but alright Warner Brothers, I'll let it slide.

Three times the fun! Fluffy is adorable!

"Or worse...EXPELLED"



Oliver Wood needed way more screen time especially in movie 8!

Oliver in a turtleneck is my aesthetic.



"It's LeviOsa not LevioSAAAA!"

Ron you little git, making Hermione cry!

Quirrell deserves a damn Oscar...git

Snape is on the move!

Hermione, you team player!

Even Snape is like, "Nah, I don't believe this shit. Mudblood, you lyin'!"

I love how they can't bloody tell it's a broomstick...good thing ya'll aren't Ravenclaws.

Wood's face when he realizes the broom Harry got. 

Lee Jordan for President! Or rather Prime Minister or hell I guess Minister for Magic.

Just realized Angelina high fives a Weasley twin when she scores. Now was that her future boyfriend or her future Husband...hmm?

Wood: NOT TODAY FOOL



Marcus Flint ya dirty cheata! 

Snape was trying to SAVE HIM YOU NIMNODS! HES A BLOODY HERO!

Honestly tho, how did Hermione get over there so fast?

Little did he know that snitch would become very important when he...well you know...forest and such

Snape is fabulous and McGonagall is Harry's biggest fangirl, move over Ginny.

They all be celebrating, but I'm pretty sure Wood is still unconscious under the goal posts....

Hagrid should really stop going to that pub...

"I SHOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT" Me when I send a risky text.

That's not just any ole invisibility cloak...its THE invisibility cloak. Shout out to Ignotus Peverell!

Oh, Filch ya bloody Squib 

Snape is all like, oh wait I'm supposed to be doin' my job and not threatening potential threats to the students.

The Mirror of Erised would probably show me as someone who isn't racked with anxiety

Ugh, RIP James and Lily! I cry everytime! 

They were so young! Damn you Voldemort! Damn you Peter! 

Wow, Harry, way to be a Debby downer and rain on Ron's parade!

Dumbledore you ruddy creeper...always there aren't you...

RIP Richard Harris.

"It does not to dwell on dreams and forget to live." One of my favourite HP quotes!

Why did America change it from Philosopher's Stone to Sorcerer's...I don't get it!

Again with the pub, Hagrid! Bruh, you have a problem.

What ever did happen to Norbert??? 

Yes, send 4 little children into a forest that has the word FORBIDDEN in the name..seems legit. Oh & have detention AFTER HOURS.

Filch is so over Hagrid's emotional blubbering!

Oi! What's wrong with werewolves? #LUPINFORLYFE

Voldemort...buddy...that isn't healthy...or good table manners...didn't your parents ever teach you...oh wait.



Yas Firenze!

Lol when Hermione says Voldemort's name in movie 1...she don't say it till Order people! That was a huge part in her character development. 

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU THAT..."

And in that moment, Minerva McGonagall realized she was dealing with James 2.0

"...UP TO SOMETHING" - Severus Snape, the king of One-liners him and Kingsley.

Neville's bear pajamas...I just can't. But, but Bravo on your courage mate.

Devil's Snare. That's important later you three...although that isn't shown in Order either is it...

Random floating broom...seems legit

I've never really liked chess....

Harry has a talent for finding special stones doesn't he?

See! SNAPE IS A HERO! 

This gives the phrase "two face" a whole new meaning.

Harry you bloody liar. He tends to lie to Voldemort a lot...didn't your parents...okay, I'm done.

Honestly Voldy's face in movie one is the only time his eyes are how they are in le books. 

It burns! It burns!

Ashes to ashes, we all fall down...

Ron, we need to have an intervention about your chocolate frog addiction...

If I was Harry, every time after Goblet of Fire I would just try to shake Voldy's hand...

Same, Hermione, Same..



I still kind of hoped Slytherin would win House Cup. SLYTHERIN PRIDE. 



You go Neville! You do you boo!

Aww, hug it out!

Lily and James, STOP

I wanna go to Hogwarts... 

I just love this movie so much! 

I think I'll watch Chamber of Secrets tomorrow night...

Bravo!



I will be doing more of these in the future! Ta for now! Oh and happy Back to Hogwarts!

- Haley





2 comments

  1. Bloody Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please do more of these! I love the gifs!

    ReplyDelete

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