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Why I Won't Do YouTube and Other Random Rambles

Tuesday, March 21, 2017



“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” ― Rudyard Kipling

March 21, 2017

I'm awkward enough.

For the past couple of weeks during my livestreams on my instagram, I have been getting a request. Some of my followers have wanted me to make YouTube videos for what is known as "BookTube" and as much as I think it would be fun and a bit of a challenge, I just can't do it. Scratch that, I just don't want to. I have tried the whole YouTube video thing before and they were horrible and I was awkward and it felt as if I was trying to be something I'm not. 


I've had this blog for around three years now and the reason I started it was because I love to write. I find that my thoughts were always more organic when I got to write them out. As many of you know, I want to be a novelist and I want to reach someone through the written word and through this blog, I can do that. Sure, a lot of people may not read it, but I know that some do and that makes it worth it. 

I called this platform "My Thoughts are a Blog" and it has become a bit of a trademark for me. Yes, I post book reviews and fun question tags, but this is also a place where I can babble and post my unfiltered thoughts for the world to see. Isn't that what writing is all about? When you read a book, you are essentially seeing into the mind of the author themselves. Mind reading may not be as impossible as you may think Ladies and Gents. 

I have a lot of respect for the people who have the confidence and courage to sit in front of a camera and vocalize their thoughts, but that's just not me. I love to livestream on my instagram and talk to people who share my interests and I will continue to do so. Just as I will continue write out my thoughts here and eventually through a novel. However long it takes.

So there we go on that topic. Let's move on. 

I haven't posted a rambling in a while. This was meant to go up yesterday as a Mindful Monday, but I got distracted and never finished it. Whoops. Anyways, I have made some progress on my current read of "Crooked Kingdom" by Leigh Bardugo and if you want to see more in-time updates you can follow me on my Goodreads account. I don't like it as much as I liked the first book, but I'm sure it'll get better as the pages pass. As for my own writing, I wrote something the other day and then just stared at it for about an hour before I realized I hated it. Saved it. Opened a new document and started over. I think that is the number one thing I have learned from writing. Never delete anything! You never know if you are going to need to use a thought you once had at two in the morning in which you integrated into a story about a rabbit and a cheese plate... To be clear, I have no idea where that sentence came from. Hmm, maybe I'll use that in a story.

When it comes to my characters, I am finding that I am becoming quite possessive and protective of them. And I know that is normal, but my main character is starting to feel like a child to me. Does that sound weird? Possibly, but it's true. I find that I want to keep her to myself because I am afraid people will pick her apart and tear her down. I guess that is a good thing...maybe? I don't know, what do you think?

Going in a completely different direction. I am really missing dance lately. I hate that it basically ended when I graduated high school. I was probably the happiest I have ever been when I was dancing and now... well it's not the same. And the worst part? My asthma has come back. I can't work out or even do a single leap without heaving on the floor. I should probably go to the doctor...it's been getting worse. I need to get back into it, but where I live (and we all know how much I loathe California) there isn't a place to do it! Not unless I want to go to LA and I really don't. Who knows what the future may hold, right? 

Okay, I think that's it for me today. See, this is what I love, just babbling to a blank page. Sure, I may be just screaming into a dark void or maybe across a deep chasm with only one other person on the other side. But I'm still speaking and that is all that matters. 

Happy Tuesday!

- Haley

2 comments:

  1. I totally understand your reasoning behind not starting a channel of your own. It's all your choice. I made my channel because I want to try and break out of my introverted shell a bit and I think it's helping slightly. I also completely relate to what your feeling about your character. As a fellow writer sometimes it can be most difficult to develop your characters and then worry about what other people might think about them.

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  2. Beautiful post! I'm so excited to hear that you are writing a novel! I totally get the whole thing about being protective of your character, that is totally relatable to me and a ton of other people. Writing a book is probably the most intimate and crazy thing you'll ever do, and it becomes like a child to you. On the whole, keep up this awesome blog and I hope to see your book in a store one day! Stay strong!

    Love, Bella xx

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